November 14,1980...a day that will live on in INFAMY..well, at least for MY family it will

Yesterday was November 14th... DUH... Most likely for most of you, unless it's your birthday or your anniversary.. November 14th is just another day. For the folks in my immeditate family however, it's a day that will always carry a special meaning. I was born on September 10,1980. Shortly thereafter, I was officially given away for adoption by my biological mother. I don't know exactly when she made the decision that she would be unable to care for me, in the best possible manner for the rest of my life... I don't know much about her at all. All I know know is that she was 18 years old when she gave birth to me, and that I was her second daughter. Her family was raising her, AND helping her raise her other daughter..that she had when she was 15yrs old or so... and so adding another child to the mix might have been more than they could all handle.

As a child my emotions varied on the subject of my adoption. Because my adoption was a closed one, I went my entire childhood, not knowing a THING about my biological background. Ever the dreamer, I created MANY different stories about my biological family... One of my dad's brothers is named Bobby... Bobby Brown. I'm pretty sure that I told many inquisitive kids that my uncle was Bobby Brown... the singer. I KNOW for sure that Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, AND Paula Abdul ALL had the honor of being my biological mother...as well as MANY a gospel artist... And the truth of the matter is...they all very well COULD be as far as I know.... but it wouldn't matter much.

What DOES matter a LOT...and WHOLE LOT is that my biological mother, when faced with the hard decision of what to do with her 2nd child, chose to give me life...and to ask only one thing for the child that she very well may never see again. That I be placed in a loving home, with parents who would love me, and raise me in the ways of the Lord.

On November 14,1980 her request was granted, and Yasmin and David Brown...a sweet young couple from Atlanta,Georgia who'd recently relocated to Cincinnati,Ohio after marrying and completing college; became my parents. God could not have been more benevolent to me... a little "orphan" girl, who would prove to be more of a handful at times than any 2 parents should EVER have to handle. I had nothing to do with the way that I came into the world, and I had even less to do with who God placed me with. All I know is that on November 14,1980, my life was set on a remarkable path. David and Yasmin Brown, went before the courts of Ohio and vowed to take care of me.... and I can't imagine my world without them!! THANKS MOM AND DAD!!! I love and thank you!!! Happy Belated Adoption Day!!!

the BIIIIIIIIBLE says...

An excerpt from the chapter of Luke was used in today's Sermon at my church in Orlando. Luke 6:37. The whole scripture "judge not, and ye shall not be judged"...scripture that is often misquoted, or taken out of context by both Non-Christians and Christians alike... How often have you heard someone say.. " the BIIIIIBLE says"... and while i've stopped there... how come when folks quote the bible.. in the WRONG way... they like to kinda SING the word Bible... their tone going UP on the "iiiiii" part of "bible"...ugh... makes me wanna kick 'em in their throat.... lol.

Anyway, how many times have you heard someone say " the bIIIIIIIble says, JUDGE NOT." ? UUUUGGGGH... I've heard it too many times to keep count... and it always makes me cringe a little bit!! Lol... that's NOT what the Biiiiible says at all... the REAL scripture says "judge not and ye shall not be judged: condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive and ye shall be forgiven.." Luke 6:38 goes on to say... and is the actual POINT of my blog today "Give and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together and running over,shall men give into your bosom."

Before I get serious, I'd just like to take a moment to say... that it's ALREADY been given to me...to the FULL in the region of my bosom.... Is there a blessing of minimalism that I can speak over my life?? Heavens... that scripture sounds more like a description of a few of my BRAS than something I'd like to speak over myself... lol I'm kidding... but no,seriously.

I want to focus on the 38th verse of Luke 6 because very seldom have I heard this text of Luke preached in full context. More usually, I've heard the parts about judging not... and USUALLY somewhere during offering time... I've heard vs.38 read and taught from. Most of the time it's in attempt to encourage us in the church, that if we give unto the Lord...monetarily... he'll bless us to the point that we won't be able to even CONTAIN it... it'll be pressed down, like you do flour or sugar..when you want to get a lot in the cup... and THEN, the blessing will be running over.

Well, as I read the scripture today in church...it dawned on me that perhaps I've both read and heard it taught out of context. I mean, i'm sure that there IS financial blessing that can be learned from the scripture but what if there's more than meets the eye. Secularists, Christians, and Krishnans alike have a multitude of sayings that remind us to be "good" to our neighbor. We talk about Karma. "What goes around, comes around" and almost EVERYONE refers to the "Golden Rule"...

Vs.38 appeared to me in a new light.... not so much about how I should give of my finances, but just another reminder of how I should treat those around me with as much grace as possible. In turn, when it's MY time on the "hot seat", and I'M the one in need of a kind word, some grace, or forgiveness.... An abundance will be ready for me. If I'm quick to be critical and judgemental of others... with that SAME spirit, I'll be treated. Or if I'm quick to extend mercy and forgiveness... A mete of mercy and forgiveness will be given unto me that's SO hefty and generous in portion, by those around me...that my bosom will be overflowing. Now, listen. Like I mentioned earlier... i'm JUST about as full as I'd like to be in my bosom region. But if grace,forgiveness,understanding and mercy are gunna be given to me in such a LARGE portion... I'll store it there...and just about anywhere else that I can get it....

You may have already figured out this simple little idea a LONG time ago.. but it was nice to get a soft, heavenly reminder today in church.

Be blessed. AND... Be nice!! Lol (YUP...DEFINATELY preaching to myself on THAT one!!)

If HOME is where your heart is...Than I've got MANY-a-home!!

I grew up in Cincinnati,Ohio as a kid. Both of my parents were born and raised in Atlanta...and almost everyone in my extended family, remained in Atlanta. So, as a young child we spent many holidays and vacations in Atlanta... visiting family. We did a fair amount of traveling as a family. We didn't take any exotic trips to the islands, or European tours or anything but...we had a Chalet in Gattlingburg,TN. so we often went there to rest. We also went to florida a few times.. we traveled quite often to take me to one or another vocal competition...and we were VEEEEEERRRRY involved in our church community...so we often traveled out of state to go to various church conferences with our Pastor....

I never really liked being from Cincinnati... as a child, Atlanta...and Charlotte, or Chicago... many other cities that I was able to visit with my family seemed so much bigger. So full of life and culture. There was also a major issue between the African American Community in Cincinnati...and the Police Department....so, as a young child, I knew from as early on as I can imagine, that Cincinnati would always be where I was from...but not necessarily, where I lived as an adult. However, I always figured that though my family had ties to Atlanta.. THEY'D always remain there... so in some ways, I'd always "go home" to Cincy... when it came time for holidays and special occasions. I never really imagined what life would be like, if my parents moved away from the town that my siblings and I were born and raised in.

Well.. right before my junior or senior year of college... my parents called me, and told me that my mother had gotten a new job, within the company that she worked for, and had been offered a job in Houston,Tx. She'd accepted the job.. and they would move in less than a month from the time that we'd spoken. Well...instantly, things to a new perspective. Even though all of my friends had gone away for college... all of their families still lived in Cincinnati... so seeing them had always been convienient. NOW with my family literally leaving...for GOOD... WHO KNEW when I'd be able to spend time with them. And what about our house?? The thought of some new strange batch of people, coming to live, where I'd spent the bulk of my adolescent years really hurt me..AAAND I was in college. Traveling almost EVERY...SINGLE...WEEKEND with The Voices of Lee. Cincinnati was about 5hrs from my College... it wasn't like I was going to be able to go home..and really say goodbye... I had one last trip to Cincinnati to gather anything that I wanted to take from the house, to keep with me....and then, that was it.


Our family found Houston to be a lovely city, and they still reside there to this day. I lived there for about 2yrs, right after I graduated College. I took a job as a Director of Music for a local church there...but, Houston,never felt like, home. Even though my parents and my 2 younger brothers were there... going to visit them, was going to VISIT them... not going home.

After sometime, I settled in Nashville,Tn. I'd oved to Tn.with a young heart, full of big dreams, and a record contract. I just KNEW that my time in the sun had come... I was finally going to be the recording artist I'd dreamed of being for most of my life. To make a very,VERY long story short...well, a little bit shorter.... NOTHING went according to plan. Life was HARD for me. I found myself in a new city, at a new church, BROKE.... Buh-ROOOOOOKE, single, and heart broken. During that time God allowed friendships to develop with some of the most amazing people I may ever have the honor of knowing and loving. A sweet young couple who had a large ,sweet family of 5 kids who befriended me, when I was still in college....opened their hearts and their home to me... and Nashville, a city that had begin to resemble a place of doubt, fear, lack, and defeat.....began to look like home to me. My incredible friends encouraged me when I was down, laughed with me when I was being silly, and even cussed with me when I was mad, or hurting. Having them, along with plugging in and finding my niche' at my church...over time began to take the feeling of "homelessness" away from me. I never recorded the album that I'd started, but God allowed me to minister with some of the most amazing recording artists in varying genres all over the world. AND he plugged me into a ministry...where I joined the Praise Team of one of the Nation's most respected Bible Teachers.That motley crew of musicians and singers became both my friends and my family.

Years later, I looked up and I'd been in Nashville nearly 7 years, when an opportunity came along for me to relocate to Orlando,Fl. to sing full time at Walt Disney World. I'd JUST bought a brand new KING SIZE... memory foam bed for my bedroom, and had JUST gotten it assembled. I was laying in my new DEEElux bed when my phone rang. As I live and breathe, the Holy Spirit said to me, " that's Disney on the phone, they're gunna offer you a job, and you need to take it." Just like that. I'd not spoken to anyone from the company. It'd be a LONG time since i'd worked there last... there was NO earthly reason that I should've have suspected they'd be calling to offer me a job. NONE. Well, suffice it to say, the Holy Spirit was right. It WAS them, and they did offer me a job. They offered me a full time job, and didn't even tell me what show it was that they wanted me to sing in. I had to ask them later, after the woman who called told me that they had a full time contract to offer me! lol

What the Holy Spirit nicely left out... when he prepared my heart for the conversation that I was about to have, was that once I took the job with Disney, I'd have about 3wks to gather my things, and get to florida....
I called my parents, I called my dear sweet friends who are family to me... and it was very clear, that I needed to go..... But... I was going to be leaving the only place that  had felt like home to me, since I was in college.

Its an usual feeling.... when you don't honestly feel like you BELONG anywhere, or to anybody. Even though my parents lived in Houston...it wasn't MY home. It was where they lived. My mother and I had a few arguements about that. She felt like "home" should be wherever THEY were...since they're my parents. In many regards that's true... but Houston, though close to my heart for several reasons, including the amazing friendships I made while working there at the church....does not BELONG to me... ya know?? It's not MY city...

I've wrestled with the "home" idea now off and on for YEARS. I lived in Orlando for nearly 3 years while I worked for Disney. All the while, I missed Nashville... the place I'd called home for nearly 7 years. But then, a funny thing started to happen...

A shifting began in my spirit. A couple of years back now... I began to get even MORE restless. It bothered me that I didn't have any place to call my own any more... I felt torn. Houston, Nashville, Orlando... and the longer I stayed away from Cincinnati... the place that I resented so much as a child, Cincinnati even began to feel like "home" in many regards.....
I began to pray. " God, give me a home. Send me home, I want a place that's all my own. I'll go WHERE EVER you tell me to, I just want to that such and so spot...is my HOME BASE.......but Send me Father, I'll go!!!"

In March of this year I left Orlando, and moved BACK to Nashville...and so thinking that God had answered my prayers... I prepared to start rooting again. Knowing that for me, there would always be seasons when i'd be away for awhile. Maybe even a LONG while... but I just assumed that since the Lord had allowed to me to return to Tn...that's where I would be. I JUST MOVED BACK TO ORLANDO....hahaha... only for the holiday season. As far as I know i'll be back to Nashville in January.... but my feelings about "HOME" and where exactly that is for me are starting to shift. My hearts desire is to go where ever the Lord needs me, wants me, wills me to go. I've learned that I wont be happy. Unless I know for certain, that I'm exactly where the Lord wants me to be.....for however long... in whatever environment.

I LOVE MY PARENTS... and they live in Houston, TX...where my siblings live, and MANY of my dearest friends live. I may never personally reside there again... but does it feel like home to me, when i'm with them?? YES. Do I ADORE schlepping around my parent's house... in my PJ's... cookin', eatin'...laughin' and cryin'?? YOU STINKIN BETCHYA!! So, Houston is home to me. I LOVE NASHVILLE,TN... I LOVE my friends, I LOVE my church family, I LOVE all that God has worked out in me and developed in me, during my season of life in that city. It will ALWAYS be home to me, whether I build a home there and raise my kids there...or NOT!! NASHVEGAS,Tn... is home. I LOVE ORLANDO.. I am connected to the city in ways that are hard for me to explain. I believe that God is up to something amazing in this city, and I'm looking foward to being a part of it, if he'll allow me to be. HOW LONG WILL I BE HERE? Your guess is as good as mine at this point... But it was home to me for several years..and it still feels home now!! Atlanta,Ga.... birthplace of my ENTIRE family tree... I feel so connected to that city, and I never spent more than a couple months at a time living there... but you better KNOW that it's home to me....


I've written an Illiad, JUST to get to this point.... You don't HAVE to have a house in a city, Or have lived there you entire life.. Or have a spouse and kids in a city, for God to have called you there for a season, OR for it just simply to feel like home to you. I dont know where I'll be when the next time I look up and I've lived in a city for 7 or 10 or 15yrs.... All I know that, God's allowed my heart to grow in love and in him, in some pretty varying cities and environments.... and with all the LOVE i've experienced from knowing and loving him... knowing and loving his people, and him blessing me with THEIR love in return.... I'm just as home as I need to be.... Where EVER he sends me!!!

so... there's THAT!