ALL Da' SINGLE LADIES!!! (warning rated pg-16)

Mkay this blog is short and sweet, and the "meat" of it's content is sadly not my own...But 2 of my friends from choir shared this with me at separate times, and it brought me SOOOO much Joy, I HAD to share with you....my closest friends in Blogville!!

This is dedicated to the single ladies like me...(meaning unmarried) though i'm sure EVERYONE could enjoy it! It gets ROUGH out there for us Christian singles... we're trusting God to bring us the right man for us... but we're human, and sometimes it just plain SUCKS bein' "alone"... eeeeeven though we know we're never alone...and yaaada yaaada YAH!!!

Often times before we even know what's happened we find ourselves in relationships that don't really cause us to flourish, or make us happy, or bring out the best in us... Sometimes we just plain settle... because Someone, is seemingly better than NOone...and at least for a while, we'll have the connection that we're longing for.... Well... This lil' "poem" that was sent to me... is a STRONG reminder for us to be like the biblical heroine Ruth..... who waited for her kinsman redeemer Boaz.... We must remind ourselves to be.like. HER... so.. here goes!!

Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.

While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle

for ANY of his relatives:

Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz,

Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothinaz,

Lazyaz or Marriedaz and especially

his third cousin Beatinyoaz.

Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure

he respects Yoaz !

haaaaaaaaaa!! (see? fun right?!)

K,so... wait a minute...Did I just say QUESO?? yummm!! ha!

About a year and a half ago.. I was MISERABLE. I mean... I was honestly miserable inside. I'd moved from Nashville,Tn to Orlando,Fl. after I just started to feel really rooted and settled in Tn.... and I was feeling a tad bit out of my element. I had AMAZING friends there in Orlando... a few of whom i'd been friends with for YEARS...and any time we were together I'd have the time of my life.... my misery however, would find me once I was alone...

I was completely unhappy with many..many things... Years before moving to Orlando, I'd moved to Nashville with a management contract, and eventually a record deal. I left Nashville with NO record... and NO management... I felt like a failure... I felt as if there were soooo many people who'd had high hopes, and big faith that I'd be a star one day....and I'd become anything BUT a star. I'd also gained soooo much weight. All of my life as a child and really even thru college... I was naturally thin... In college I noticed that i was bigger than most of the other girls I traveled with... I sang in a group that traveled EVERY weekend.. almost ALL YEAR long... singing at churches, arenas, hotel ballrooms, schools..and even parades...recruiting students to our school. When I was in highschool... my close group of friends didn't stand around in the mirror...looking at our bodies, and cursing our every flaw. In college however... it was "FUN" for many of us girls to look in the mirror while getting dressed for a concert...and bash ourselves to oblivion...squeezing our tummies... snatching our faces back... and contorting ourselves in ALL kinds of ways... Still even though I was a little bit bigger than the other girls... I didn't just absolutely HATE myself....By time I reached Orlando.... I could not stand the sight of myself.

After years of hearing things like "You really COULD be a pretty girl if you just lost some weight"... and "your really DO have a pretty face..." I'd accepted that there was something about me that was just not quite good enough, as my own personal truth... and I allowed myself to just...stop caring.
Well... about a year before my 30th birthday...I looked in the mirror one morning and had a major break down... and i mean a MAJOR breakdown... For some reason, I looked at myself, and I mean REEEEALLY looked at myself for the first time in ages, and I could not believe what I saw..... I decided right then and there, that something had to change... SOMETHING... i wasn't exactly sure at that time what needed to change... but I knew that I couldn't stay in the same condition that I was in..

I racked my brain over and over about what I could do to put myself back on the path of self love and appreciation.. and finally one night while writing in my journal, I made a list of all of the things that I hated about myself... and I separated them based on the things that I could change, and the things that I was just born with, and would have to accept. Now...i KNOW that for some, my method may seem a little intense, but it was my way of coming to grips with myself... The interesting thing is that I also made a list of things that I enjoyed about myself. It was 50 times harder to do that..than to say what I couldn't stand... However thinking of the things that I liked about me, actually picked up my spirits a little bit...and kind of acted as the fuel that I'd need for the journey I was about to embark upon.

That night I decided that I was going to start trying to lose weight. My goal at that time, though small seemed nearly IMPOSSIBLE. I wanted to lose 30lbs. And so my journey began... I found a weight loss program that offered much support and guidance... and that was private enough for me. I had NO interest whatsoever in doing the whole group thing.... This journey was personal.

Well...I should wrap this story up, I'm starting to bore MYSELF. lol. Over the course of that year... I ended up losing about 80lbs... I felt INCREDIBLE. I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams that I could honestly do that. It by NO means was easy. There were months and months of tears, and stressin' out..early am. workouts.. late evening workouts... Eating things that were LAME compared to what I wanted to eat... It was the hardest most difficult thing I'd ever tried to face... But with the help of God...my friends all over the country supporting me...and just stubborn will on my part... I did it.

Well.... time went on.. and much happened that kind of took the wind right out of my confident little sails. My contract at Disney was not renewed...and so I moved AGAIN back to TN. leaving my friends in Orlando many of whom had become very dear to my heart. Once I got back to TN, though I was elated to be around my closest friends...and church family.. the reality of once again being an independent contract vocalist hit me square in the face.... I got sick and lost my voice for several weeks, due to the allergy issues that always greet me in Tn... I no longer had insurance and I had NO money to speak of...so it wasn't like I could run off to the Drs. office like I did when I was working for disney....and though I was working a little bit, doing some backround vocal sessions.... my checks didn't come the next week...in fact some of them didn't come the next MONTH...oooor the month before that.... In short... I started buggin' out... I couldn't be all hoity toity and selective about what I ate and when.... Many days I was just happy to have 5bucks in my pocket... and so immediately things began to change with me... The FINAL blow to my morale and psyche came when my dear friend Maurice passed away unexpectedly... THHHHUMP!! I hit bottom.... Heartbroken and emotionally drained before I knew what was happening.... I'd gained back 30 of the 80lbs I'd spent SOOO much time and money losing.

You'd think that I'd immediately snap out of my funk...and kick myself in the butt...and get going...working out and eating right and all that jazz...once i noticed my weight gain. I did just the opposite. I got depressed... and angry..and dissapointed...AGAIN I felt like I'd let myself down..and many who'd been watching what I was doing... and getting inspired to go on their own weightloss journey...
Well... after a few weeks of sadness it dawned on me that I had the power to get back to where I'd been... I knew the plan...I knew what it would take... and so VOILA... I'm back to BIDNESS!! lol...

I'm calling this leg of the journey PhaseII. I've also called it Operation Bringin' Sexy Back... well... I've called it many more things than that...but those are the only 2 that I can be SURE would not offend folks...lol
I'm hittin' things HARD as ever...working out... and eating right..and drinkin' more water than I care to. What I learned last time I embarked on this effort was that when YOU are ready to take control... YOU CAN! In other words...when everyone else and their mom, told me that I should work out..or that I had the potential to be beautiful..or HOT... it was like water rolling off a ducks back...because I wasn't into things for the right reason... I was trying to please everyone else. Trying to be good enough in THEIR eyes.... When the time came and I looked in the mirror and called myself by my full government name....and said "alrite girl... let's do this!" It was like magic.

I learned so much while on my way to healthy and happy... and I'm learning so much even now in this 2nd phase... But what I'd like to share with EVERYONE who's got a goal in front of them that is seemingly impossible... is that there is more strength and power and capability inside of you that you don't even know is there yet. Sometimes it takes stepping outside of your comfort zone...to find these hidden treasures inside of you... Just know that there is NOTHING you can't accomplish when YOU believe in yourself... and allow God to strengthen you when you feel the most weak.... sooooo GET UP AND GO FOR IT!!!

love you all!!

L'quatious Gabby Yapsalot

Heaven is for REAL...and that makes me happy!

I started reading the book Heaven is For Real at the urging of one of my dearest friends. She told me that it was an easy read.. and she thought that I may enjoy it.... About a month and a half ago... I lost one of the closest friends i've ever had to an unexpected heart attack. His untimely death has shaken everyone in my community of friends who knew him. It's even impacted folks who didn't know him that well.

Maurice Carter and I met oh..10 or so years ago, when I came to Nashville to visit my best friend Jacob... and to work on my album. I'd recently signed a management contract.. and I was coming to Nashville every now and then to write songs and sing demos and etc. Any way...long story short.. Jacob introduced me to Maurice..and the 3 of us must have spent about 10hrs crackin' up...talking about life, ministry..dating..food..and each others' mamas until our faces and stomachs were sore from all of the laughing and crying.... and well, the rest as the saying goes is history.

About a year or so after 1st meeting Maurice, I moved to Nashville... and it really didn't take us long at all to become each other's Best Worst friend.... by that I mean...we loved each other more than either one of us really cared to express.... and so we didn't. Instead we spent each and every chance we could... dogging each other out... Cursing the day the other was born... cheering on any calamity that befell the other one.... Booing each other when one or the other of us entered a room.... You know... the normal!! It was a friendship made in heaven... we got each other... We NEVER had to explain to the other one, that we loved each other...and would always support each other.... it was just understood. We always stepped up for each other when the time was needed. Gosh... countless stories come to mind... times that Maurice...Mo' I called him... (along with, Ol' Sleuthfoot...Beelzebub, The Accuser of the Bretheren and just plain UGLY...lol)...saw that I was feeling down about something....and he'd come and talk with me...pray with me...laugh at me... or whatever the situation called for.

There were also times when we weren't around each other as much for one reason or the next...and God would place me on his mind....He'd call me...or text me... cuss me out for plaguing his thoughts... and then spend the rest of his time, reminding me of God's heart for me...and how special I was... or whatever. There were times when I began to doubt my calling... He'd not allow that to "fly" for one moment.... He spoke life back into my dying dreams... and urged me to keep believing....and keep working hard....

I honestly talked with Maurice about EVERYTHING..... and then there was making music together... Both of us were/are singers.... and have been asked to sing with people that we just didn't want to... or that..it just felt un-natural...making music with.... Maurice and I never had that problem.... His high pure tenor sound... and my thick rich tone some how came together wonderfully... and we jumped on any chance we could...to sing together.... For awhile we traveled with Wynonna Judd together...LORD...country music was NEVER ready for the likes of us... You should have SEEN us...trapsin' around Plant City,Fl. at the Strawberry Festival....Rebel flags flyin' all around us... and he and I strollin' around the grounds...laughin' at nearly  EVERYTHING we saw...and laughing at the folks who stared us down...trying to figure what in the world WE were doing back stage with all the country stars.... Gosh we had the best time together...

I especially loved our relationship at church! We'd be walking to the front of the stage to sing Praise and Worship...and he'd be whispering in my ear that God was NOT gunna receive my prayers...because you know..he hated me....but that HE had a most excellent relationship with God...and he'd be blessed just watching me suffer... His nickname for me included the name Lucifer... and he never hesitated to call me such....

SO...needless to say...his death broke my heart. I think it's just now starting to settle in... settles in more and more each day... that he's like...GONE... really and truly, not coming back.... I'll never see him again....

That's why my friend suggested that I read the aforementioned book.... The book gives the account of a little boy who had been terribly sick... and at one point was very near death... while he was in the hospital...in surgery... he had an out of body experience...or a vision..of being in heaven.... Little by little he said things to his family..over a period of years that revealed what he'd experienced while being in heaven....

There were many striking points in the book... but one point grabbed the attention of my heart the most...While he was in heaven...the little boy met his great grandfather..who'd been dead YEARS before he was born, and he met his sister...who he never even knew existed. Before he was born, his mother had a miscarriage.... He was only about 4yrs old at the time of his heavenly visit.... and his parents had never spoken to him about the baby they'd lost... He goes on to talk about all of the folks he met while he was there.... and while I read the book it began to dawn on me.... that one day I really WILL see my loved ones again.... particularly Maurice.

I also got a great deal of joy reading the boy's account of  folks' wings in heaven. The boy told his father that his great grandfather in heaven had really  huuuuge wings.... while he had little ones... I couldn't help but chuckle...because in the process of trying to cope with the loss of my friend.... I teased him and said, just like he had weeee lil' spindly fingers....he probably had the teeen-tiniest wings e'er to grace the glory land....lol I mean honestly... it just wouldn't be fittin' for him to have MASSIVE wings...when he had such tiny lil' hands and feet on earth!! lol. The little boy also made mention of being able to see what was going on here on earth with his family, while he was sick and in surgery. He said that he prayed for his earthly father while he was in heaven...because he could see that his father was afraid...and needed peace.... Instantly my mind went to the scripture of the Bible in Hebrews that says "therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

It did my heart well to think that the things that we say to each other when we're trying to console one another.... "dear grandma is in heaven right now, looking down on all of us.." and etc...actually has some scriptural bearing....

I mean...as much of a help to me as Mo' was while still on earth...just knowing he's in heaven... looking down on all of us that he loved... and cheering us on...and maybe even petitioning God the Father on our behalf...is really encouraging....

Some days i'm fine... other days my heart hurts so bad, I feel a bit guilty. I mean... I was just his friend... I think of his sisters and brother and his precious mother.... and i multiply the pain in my heart by an infinite amount...and I pray for the strength of their heart. It's especially hard, going to church, singing in the Praise Team, and choir without him.... It's so odd because I never once had to think about what life would be like without him here...much less what my worship experience would be like.... I cry all of the time...at random. I'll see a car that looks like his...or hear songs that we recorded together... and I just can't stop the pain from swelling in my heart....and flowing like a river from my eyes.... I know that one day.... the thought of him won't hurt me so much...and i'll not cry all of the time.... I also know that I'll probably NEVER get over him being gone.... but I also know this.... Heaven IS for real... and one day...after I've successfully finished MY race here on earth.... Not only will I get to see Jesus... I'll see my friend again... and today.... that thought has eased the pain in my heart...for awhile.

Love and miss you Mo'.... and i'll see you again...and probably sooner than YOU'D like..lol.

hmm..sooo, my skin is pretty because it's "light" in your eyes??

so.. i wasn't expecting to have such a deep conversation with the nail tech who was doing my nails today. I mean...usually when i get my nails done anywhere, the convo stays pretty much on the surface level. Today's chat while beautifying my paws was a bit different...than any other i've had before, in such a place. Maybe there was a little more of a comfort level between us because i'd been sent to this particular salon by a girlfriend of mine whose nails i've marveled at for years. she told me to ask for a particular gentleman, and so i did. Once i told him who'd sent him to me...it was ON and poppin'....

Things started out innocently enough... i was kind of tickled because though he was from vietnam originally, and had a pretty thick accent... i could tell he'd been in the south for awhile...and I could also tell from his conversation he'd been around..... well... black folks! lol. He shared with me that he'd first been in atlanta... and shared some of his experiences there.... We talked about the challenges he's noticed by being a man of color in the particular area of nashville he lived and worked in.... I must admit, i was honestly a bit impressed with him... he seemed to be very grounded, and rooted...and we shared many of the same ideals about how customers...and well, just people in general should be treated, regardless of their skin color...

the big ol' monkey wrench was tossed in the convo' bucket, when i asked him a question about my nail beds... he kept referring to how pretty and pink they were, naturally... "Cool." I thought, i mean.... what woman doesn't like a gratuitous compliment every now and then...or ALL the time...about their beauty... even if it's a compliment on the cuticle of my right pinky toe nail.... i'm happy.... and so i thanked him and stared off at the television to avoid an awkward silence....

THEN he continued his nail bed flattery by explaining that not all black women had cuticles like mine.... Most of us, he said....had Dark, Ugly nail beds... because of their darker skin complexion... he then went on to point out to me my skin... tapping my forearm... "see... your skin is not so dark..its light and pretty... not so dark"...

sadly i didn't respond the way i probably SHOULD have, because it was such an awkward, unexpected moment... but immediately my mind spun into absolute orbit... thinkin' things like... "uhhhm... did this fool just say that??!"... Still i kind of nodded and stared off again, trying to avoid my mouth from getting me into trouble..... Later he commented about my hair.. and how it was "GOOD" hair.. because it was curly and etc... (what he DIDN'T know was that i was wearing a fall... a hair piece that you can clip onto your head, to add fullness and volume and etc..) Well... i wasn't going to miss my chance this time. I asked him if he'd seen Chris Rock's documentary on black womens' hair..and the hair industry... He said he'd seen some of it.... I wasted no time in letting him know about the movie...and about how i felt...

i explained to him the sad fact that for as long as black women have been in america... and probably even longer... there has been an "invisible" force...telling them that their natural hair..skin...lips...butts...thickness...and the such... was NOT considered beautiful.... and that many of us bought into the idea that... the western worlds' idea of beauty, was the real standard... in other words... we believed the crappy hype that told us, White, is Right...lol.. that straight her, and porcelain skin... equalled beauty....

we had an engaging conversation... we shared our opinions..but i left him with a few thoughts that ultimately he seemed to agree with... We have to love ourselves... our skin tone..our full lips, our thin lips..our kinky fro's, our red hair and freckles... whatever it is we've been given... Because we all... every last one of us reflect the beauty and splendor of God. God who created us all in his image, the image of BEAUTY...filled with variance.... NO man, woman, cat, or flying squirrel should ever fix their lips to call another ones God given skin tone...dark and ugly... i mean besides... where the H' has he been?? the product is called DARK AND LOVELY!!! OKAY?!?! haha!

siiigh......