That amazing song goes on to say "dont you be discouraged don't you be dismayed".... Ah, THAT. Its SOOOO much easier to sing about "weeping enduring for the night, and JOOOOOOOOOY *pentecostal preacher grunt implied*,coming in the morning. But what happens when your night feels like a polar night season in Alaska where it's just flat out dark outside, looking like midnite, all day every day?? STILL much easier to sing ourselves happy in our cars, or in our homes while getting dressed for the day. We'll bop our head along to music with such encouraging matters... but when that breaking point hits, and you realize that you've had JUST about all the "dark" season as you're gonna be able to take, what then??
I've never had the honor of giving birth to a child. I feel like i've got about 15 kids, the way my heart attaches itself to the children of the friends that I know and love. Im the proud aunt of 4girls and the GMama (God mother) of one precious boy named Jackson, whom i never see enough...or keep in touch with....I'm a pretty sucky friend and aunt, now that I THINK about it...hahaha.... But I digress. I've been present at several of the births of my friends kids....It's a HARD, HARSH, process....but all of these FOOL mother friends of mine keep turning around and having MORE children...KNOWING the pain that they'll have to endure, because in the end, it's WORTH it. The pain, the crying, the anger...the swelling, the HATE of God and man that comes,fleetingly throughout the pregnancy....All worth it... and sooner or later.. They're wondering when they should have the next BUTT NUGGET... er uh... BABY.. because they know that the temporary discomfort... though at the time seems like it may DESTROY them utterly... is worth it all...
Like I mentioned a moment ago, I've not yet given birth to any children. BUT, the other day, I had a "lady procedure" done, that made me FEEL as if I knew first hand the pain that my friends who HAVE had children have endured. I had a Hisceroscopy.... meaning, they lodged at 987ft (slight exxageration) telescopic camera thru my URETHRA...and I DONT mean Franklin.... in order to better view whats goin' on "up in there"... they also did a Pap&Grab... meaning basically they snatched stuff out to biopsy it, and they didnt numb me or even warn me about the pain that was set before me....
Listen folks... I have one SERIOUSLY high pain tolerance...when i tell you it looked like I was Emily Rose, mid excorcism...i was Buckin' and squirming, and crying, and DEMANDING that they stop just for a moment, so that I could breathe. They of COURSE did not HEED MY FAINTEST, OR LOUDEST CRY...and continued like I WASNT crying, and begging for mercy.... OH, the BEST PART... they had a wee lil' asian BOY student in there, peepin' my lady garden, like he wanted to check out the landscaping for HIS OWN home one day!!! I WAS LIVID...and I was in so much shock and pain, that all i could do was cry for a while once they left the room.
The procedure and the pain, neccessary....but my GOD how it hurt.... the only thing I could liken it to, when trying to describe it, was like the worst contraction pain EVER... where there's NOTHING you can do to make it easier on yourself, you just have to sit, stand, stop....endure, and keep on pushing for the prize that's ahead.
Recently, I've been feeling like there are some REALLY wonderful things ahead for me, that are going to require alot of work, and dedication but I feel in my heart and spirit that I'm being propelled into my destiny. Its also been an incredibly hard time for me for a LONG,LONG time now.... I've been in labor, a LONG time. But I believe in my heart what the word of God says in Hebrews 8:18(kjv), "for I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
YES in HEAVEN all of that we went through on Earth that we don't understand, will all make sense... I get it from a heavenly perspective, but I'm talking about right here on Earth.... Sometimes, just before you step into your season of "victory" it can feel like life is running you ragged...
Dont quit pushing... like Journey said "DONT STOP BELIEVIN'"... you may NOT wanna hold on to that feelin'...cuuuuuuz it hurts... just keep in mind what you're "fighting" for... Life all around you may be falling to pot....But God is VERY aware of you, he KNOWS your heart, he KNOWS your purpose...waaaay more than you think YOU do... Stay in the fight!!! It's GUNNA be worth it all!! ALL, ya hear me?!?!
ALL.
I love you! God Bless!!
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