Heaven is for REAL...and that makes me happy!

I started reading the book Heaven is For Real at the urging of one of my dearest friends. She told me that it was an easy read.. and she thought that I may enjoy it.... About a month and a half ago... I lost one of the closest friends i've ever had to an unexpected heart attack. His untimely death has shaken everyone in my community of friends who knew him. It's even impacted folks who didn't know him that well.

Maurice Carter and I met oh..10 or so years ago, when I came to Nashville to visit my best friend Jacob... and to work on my album. I'd recently signed a management contract.. and I was coming to Nashville every now and then to write songs and sing demos and etc. Any way...long story short.. Jacob introduced me to Maurice..and the 3 of us must have spent about 10hrs crackin' up...talking about life, ministry..dating..food..and each others' mamas until our faces and stomachs were sore from all of the laughing and crying.... and well, the rest as the saying goes is history.

About a year or so after 1st meeting Maurice, I moved to Nashville... and it really didn't take us long at all to become each other's Best Worst friend.... by that I mean...we loved each other more than either one of us really cared to express.... and so we didn't. Instead we spent each and every chance we could... dogging each other out... Cursing the day the other was born... cheering on any calamity that befell the other one.... Booing each other when one or the other of us entered a room.... You know... the normal!! It was a friendship made in heaven... we got each other... We NEVER had to explain to the other one, that we loved each other...and would always support each other.... it was just understood. We always stepped up for each other when the time was needed. Gosh... countless stories come to mind... times that Maurice...Mo' I called him... (along with, Ol' Sleuthfoot...Beelzebub, The Accuser of the Bretheren and just plain UGLY...lol)...saw that I was feeling down about something....and he'd come and talk with me...pray with me...laugh at me... or whatever the situation called for.

There were also times when we weren't around each other as much for one reason or the next...and God would place me on his mind....He'd call me...or text me... cuss me out for plaguing his thoughts... and then spend the rest of his time, reminding me of God's heart for me...and how special I was... or whatever. There were times when I began to doubt my calling... He'd not allow that to "fly" for one moment.... He spoke life back into my dying dreams... and urged me to keep believing....and keep working hard....

I honestly talked with Maurice about EVERYTHING..... and then there was making music together... Both of us were/are singers.... and have been asked to sing with people that we just didn't want to... or that..it just felt un-natural...making music with.... Maurice and I never had that problem.... His high pure tenor sound... and my thick rich tone some how came together wonderfully... and we jumped on any chance we could...to sing together.... For awhile we traveled with Wynonna Judd together...LORD...country music was NEVER ready for the likes of us... You should have SEEN us...trapsin' around Plant City,Fl. at the Strawberry Festival....Rebel flags flyin' all around us... and he and I strollin' around the grounds...laughin' at nearly  EVERYTHING we saw...and laughing at the folks who stared us down...trying to figure what in the world WE were doing back stage with all the country stars.... Gosh we had the best time together...

I especially loved our relationship at church! We'd be walking to the front of the stage to sing Praise and Worship...and he'd be whispering in my ear that God was NOT gunna receive my prayers...because you know..he hated me....but that HE had a most excellent relationship with God...and he'd be blessed just watching me suffer... His nickname for me included the name Lucifer... and he never hesitated to call me such....

SO...needless to say...his death broke my heart. I think it's just now starting to settle in... settles in more and more each day... that he's like...GONE... really and truly, not coming back.... I'll never see him again....

That's why my friend suggested that I read the aforementioned book.... The book gives the account of a little boy who had been terribly sick... and at one point was very near death... while he was in the hospital...in surgery... he had an out of body experience...or a vision..of being in heaven.... Little by little he said things to his family..over a period of years that revealed what he'd experienced while being in heaven....

There were many striking points in the book... but one point grabbed the attention of my heart the most...While he was in heaven...the little boy met his great grandfather..who'd been dead YEARS before he was born, and he met his sister...who he never even knew existed. Before he was born, his mother had a miscarriage.... He was only about 4yrs old at the time of his heavenly visit.... and his parents had never spoken to him about the baby they'd lost... He goes on to talk about all of the folks he met while he was there.... and while I read the book it began to dawn on me.... that one day I really WILL see my loved ones again.... particularly Maurice.

I also got a great deal of joy reading the boy's account of  folks' wings in heaven. The boy told his father that his great grandfather in heaven had really  huuuuge wings.... while he had little ones... I couldn't help but chuckle...because in the process of trying to cope with the loss of my friend.... I teased him and said, just like he had weeee lil' spindly fingers....he probably had the teeen-tiniest wings e'er to grace the glory land....lol I mean honestly... it just wouldn't be fittin' for him to have MASSIVE wings...when he had such tiny lil' hands and feet on earth!! lol. The little boy also made mention of being able to see what was going on here on earth with his family, while he was sick and in surgery. He said that he prayed for his earthly father while he was in heaven...because he could see that his father was afraid...and needed peace.... Instantly my mind went to the scripture of the Bible in Hebrews that says "therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

It did my heart well to think that the things that we say to each other when we're trying to console one another.... "dear grandma is in heaven right now, looking down on all of us.." and etc...actually has some scriptural bearing....

I mean...as much of a help to me as Mo' was while still on earth...just knowing he's in heaven... looking down on all of us that he loved... and cheering us on...and maybe even petitioning God the Father on our behalf...is really encouraging....

Some days i'm fine... other days my heart hurts so bad, I feel a bit guilty. I mean... I was just his friend... I think of his sisters and brother and his precious mother.... and i multiply the pain in my heart by an infinite amount...and I pray for the strength of their heart. It's especially hard, going to church, singing in the Praise Team, and choir without him.... It's so odd because I never once had to think about what life would be like without him here...much less what my worship experience would be like.... I cry all of the time...at random. I'll see a car that looks like his...or hear songs that we recorded together... and I just can't stop the pain from swelling in my heart....and flowing like a river from my eyes.... I know that one day.... the thought of him won't hurt me so much...and i'll not cry all of the time.... I also know that I'll probably NEVER get over him being gone.... but I also know this.... Heaven IS for real... and one day...after I've successfully finished MY race here on earth.... Not only will I get to see Jesus... I'll see my friend again... and today.... that thought has eased the pain in my heart...for awhile.

Love and miss you Mo'.... and i'll see you again...and probably sooner than YOU'D like..lol.