November 14,1980...a day that will live on in INFAMY..well, at least for MY family it will

Yesterday was November 14th... DUH... Most likely for most of you, unless it's your birthday or your anniversary.. November 14th is just another day. For the folks in my immeditate family however, it's a day that will always carry a special meaning. I was born on September 10,1980. Shortly thereafter, I was officially given away for adoption by my biological mother. I don't know exactly when she made the decision that she would be unable to care for me, in the best possible manner for the rest of my life... I don't know much about her at all. All I know know is that she was 18 years old when she gave birth to me, and that I was her second daughter. Her family was raising her, AND helping her raise her other daughter..that she had when she was 15yrs old or so... and so adding another child to the mix might have been more than they could all handle.

As a child my emotions varied on the subject of my adoption. Because my adoption was a closed one, I went my entire childhood, not knowing a THING about my biological background. Ever the dreamer, I created MANY different stories about my biological family... One of my dad's brothers is named Bobby... Bobby Brown. I'm pretty sure that I told many inquisitive kids that my uncle was Bobby Brown... the singer. I KNOW for sure that Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, AND Paula Abdul ALL had the honor of being my biological mother...as well as MANY a gospel artist... And the truth of the matter is...they all very well COULD be as far as I know.... but it wouldn't matter much.

What DOES matter a LOT...and WHOLE LOT is that my biological mother, when faced with the hard decision of what to do with her 2nd child, chose to give me life...and to ask only one thing for the child that she very well may never see again. That I be placed in a loving home, with parents who would love me, and raise me in the ways of the Lord.

On November 14,1980 her request was granted, and Yasmin and David Brown...a sweet young couple from Atlanta,Georgia who'd recently relocated to Cincinnati,Ohio after marrying and completing college; became my parents. God could not have been more benevolent to me... a little "orphan" girl, who would prove to be more of a handful at times than any 2 parents should EVER have to handle. I had nothing to do with the way that I came into the world, and I had even less to do with who God placed me with. All I know is that on November 14,1980, my life was set on a remarkable path. David and Yasmin Brown, went before the courts of Ohio and vowed to take care of me.... and I can't imagine my world without them!! THANKS MOM AND DAD!!! I love and thank you!!! Happy Belated Adoption Day!!!

the BIIIIIIIIBLE says...

An excerpt from the chapter of Luke was used in today's Sermon at my church in Orlando. Luke 6:37. The whole scripture "judge not, and ye shall not be judged"...scripture that is often misquoted, or taken out of context by both Non-Christians and Christians alike... How often have you heard someone say.. " the BIIIIIBLE says"... and while i've stopped there... how come when folks quote the bible.. in the WRONG way... they like to kinda SING the word Bible... their tone going UP on the "iiiiii" part of "bible"...ugh... makes me wanna kick 'em in their throat.... lol.

Anyway, how many times have you heard someone say " the bIIIIIIIble says, JUDGE NOT." ? UUUUGGGGH... I've heard it too many times to keep count... and it always makes me cringe a little bit!! Lol... that's NOT what the Biiiiible says at all... the REAL scripture says "judge not and ye shall not be judged: condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive and ye shall be forgiven.." Luke 6:38 goes on to say... and is the actual POINT of my blog today "Give and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together and running over,shall men give into your bosom."

Before I get serious, I'd just like to take a moment to say... that it's ALREADY been given to me...to the FULL in the region of my bosom.... Is there a blessing of minimalism that I can speak over my life?? Heavens... that scripture sounds more like a description of a few of my BRAS than something I'd like to speak over myself... lol I'm kidding... but no,seriously.

I want to focus on the 38th verse of Luke 6 because very seldom have I heard this text of Luke preached in full context. More usually, I've heard the parts about judging not... and USUALLY somewhere during offering time... I've heard vs.38 read and taught from. Most of the time it's in attempt to encourage us in the church, that if we give unto the Lord...monetarily... he'll bless us to the point that we won't be able to even CONTAIN it... it'll be pressed down, like you do flour or sugar..when you want to get a lot in the cup... and THEN, the blessing will be running over.

Well, as I read the scripture today in church...it dawned on me that perhaps I've both read and heard it taught out of context. I mean, i'm sure that there IS financial blessing that can be learned from the scripture but what if there's more than meets the eye. Secularists, Christians, and Krishnans alike have a multitude of sayings that remind us to be "good" to our neighbor. We talk about Karma. "What goes around, comes around" and almost EVERYONE refers to the "Golden Rule"...

Vs.38 appeared to me in a new light.... not so much about how I should give of my finances, but just another reminder of how I should treat those around me with as much grace as possible. In turn, when it's MY time on the "hot seat", and I'M the one in need of a kind word, some grace, or forgiveness.... An abundance will be ready for me. If I'm quick to be critical and judgemental of others... with that SAME spirit, I'll be treated. Or if I'm quick to extend mercy and forgiveness... A mete of mercy and forgiveness will be given unto me that's SO hefty and generous in portion, by those around me...that my bosom will be overflowing. Now, listen. Like I mentioned earlier... i'm JUST about as full as I'd like to be in my bosom region. But if grace,forgiveness,understanding and mercy are gunna be given to me in such a LARGE portion... I'll store it there...and just about anywhere else that I can get it....

You may have already figured out this simple little idea a LONG time ago.. but it was nice to get a soft, heavenly reminder today in church.

Be blessed. AND... Be nice!! Lol (YUP...DEFINATELY preaching to myself on THAT one!!)

If HOME is where your heart is...Than I've got MANY-a-home!!

I grew up in Cincinnati,Ohio as a kid. Both of my parents were born and raised in Atlanta...and almost everyone in my extended family, remained in Atlanta. So, as a young child we spent many holidays and vacations in Atlanta... visiting family. We did a fair amount of traveling as a family. We didn't take any exotic trips to the islands, or European tours or anything but...we had a Chalet in Gattlingburg,TN. so we often went there to rest. We also went to florida a few times.. we traveled quite often to take me to one or another vocal competition...and we were VEEEEEERRRRY involved in our church community...so we often traveled out of state to go to various church conferences with our Pastor....

I never really liked being from Cincinnati... as a child, Atlanta...and Charlotte, or Chicago... many other cities that I was able to visit with my family seemed so much bigger. So full of life and culture. There was also a major issue between the African American Community in Cincinnati...and the Police Department....so, as a young child, I knew from as early on as I can imagine, that Cincinnati would always be where I was from...but not necessarily, where I lived as an adult. However, I always figured that though my family had ties to Atlanta.. THEY'D always remain there... so in some ways, I'd always "go home" to Cincy... when it came time for holidays and special occasions. I never really imagined what life would be like, if my parents moved away from the town that my siblings and I were born and raised in.

Well.. right before my junior or senior year of college... my parents called me, and told me that my mother had gotten a new job, within the company that she worked for, and had been offered a job in Houston,Tx. She'd accepted the job.. and they would move in less than a month from the time that we'd spoken. Well...instantly, things to a new perspective. Even though all of my friends had gone away for college... all of their families still lived in Cincinnati... so seeing them had always been convienient. NOW with my family literally leaving...for GOOD... WHO KNEW when I'd be able to spend time with them. And what about our house?? The thought of some new strange batch of people, coming to live, where I'd spent the bulk of my adolescent years really hurt me..AAAND I was in college. Traveling almost EVERY...SINGLE...WEEKEND with The Voices of Lee. Cincinnati was about 5hrs from my College... it wasn't like I was going to be able to go home..and really say goodbye... I had one last trip to Cincinnati to gather anything that I wanted to take from the house, to keep with me....and then, that was it.


Our family found Houston to be a lovely city, and they still reside there to this day. I lived there for about 2yrs, right after I graduated College. I took a job as a Director of Music for a local church there...but, Houston,never felt like, home. Even though my parents and my 2 younger brothers were there... going to visit them, was going to VISIT them... not going home.

After sometime, I settled in Nashville,Tn. I'd oved to Tn.with a young heart, full of big dreams, and a record contract. I just KNEW that my time in the sun had come... I was finally going to be the recording artist I'd dreamed of being for most of my life. To make a very,VERY long story short...well, a little bit shorter.... NOTHING went according to plan. Life was HARD for me. I found myself in a new city, at a new church, BROKE.... Buh-ROOOOOOKE, single, and heart broken. During that time God allowed friendships to develop with some of the most amazing people I may ever have the honor of knowing and loving. A sweet young couple who had a large ,sweet family of 5 kids who befriended me, when I was still in college....opened their hearts and their home to me... and Nashville, a city that had begin to resemble a place of doubt, fear, lack, and defeat.....began to look like home to me. My incredible friends encouraged me when I was down, laughed with me when I was being silly, and even cussed with me when I was mad, or hurting. Having them, along with plugging in and finding my niche' at my church...over time began to take the feeling of "homelessness" away from me. I never recorded the album that I'd started, but God allowed me to minister with some of the most amazing recording artists in varying genres all over the world. AND he plugged me into a ministry...where I joined the Praise Team of one of the Nation's most respected Bible Teachers.That motley crew of musicians and singers became both my friends and my family.

Years later, I looked up and I'd been in Nashville nearly 7 years, when an opportunity came along for me to relocate to Orlando,Fl. to sing full time at Walt Disney World. I'd JUST bought a brand new KING SIZE... memory foam bed for my bedroom, and had JUST gotten it assembled. I was laying in my new DEEElux bed when my phone rang. As I live and breathe, the Holy Spirit said to me, " that's Disney on the phone, they're gunna offer you a job, and you need to take it." Just like that. I'd not spoken to anyone from the company. It'd be a LONG time since i'd worked there last... there was NO earthly reason that I should've have suspected they'd be calling to offer me a job. NONE. Well, suffice it to say, the Holy Spirit was right. It WAS them, and they did offer me a job. They offered me a full time job, and didn't even tell me what show it was that they wanted me to sing in. I had to ask them later, after the woman who called told me that they had a full time contract to offer me! lol

What the Holy Spirit nicely left out... when he prepared my heart for the conversation that I was about to have, was that once I took the job with Disney, I'd have about 3wks to gather my things, and get to florida....
I called my parents, I called my dear sweet friends who are family to me... and it was very clear, that I needed to go..... But... I was going to be leaving the only place that  had felt like home to me, since I was in college.

Its an usual feeling.... when you don't honestly feel like you BELONG anywhere, or to anybody. Even though my parents lived in Houston...it wasn't MY home. It was where they lived. My mother and I had a few arguements about that. She felt like "home" should be wherever THEY were...since they're my parents. In many regards that's true... but Houston, though close to my heart for several reasons, including the amazing friendships I made while working there at the church....does not BELONG to me... ya know?? It's not MY city...

I've wrestled with the "home" idea now off and on for YEARS. I lived in Orlando for nearly 3 years while I worked for Disney. All the while, I missed Nashville... the place I'd called home for nearly 7 years. But then, a funny thing started to happen...

A shifting began in my spirit. A couple of years back now... I began to get even MORE restless. It bothered me that I didn't have any place to call my own any more... I felt torn. Houston, Nashville, Orlando... and the longer I stayed away from Cincinnati... the place that I resented so much as a child, Cincinnati even began to feel like "home" in many regards.....
I began to pray. " God, give me a home. Send me home, I want a place that's all my own. I'll go WHERE EVER you tell me to, I just want to that such and so spot...is my HOME BASE.......but Send me Father, I'll go!!!"

In March of this year I left Orlando, and moved BACK to Nashville...and so thinking that God had answered my prayers... I prepared to start rooting again. Knowing that for me, there would always be seasons when i'd be away for awhile. Maybe even a LONG while... but I just assumed that since the Lord had allowed to me to return to Tn...that's where I would be. I JUST MOVED BACK TO ORLANDO....hahaha... only for the holiday season. As far as I know i'll be back to Nashville in January.... but my feelings about "HOME" and where exactly that is for me are starting to shift. My hearts desire is to go where ever the Lord needs me, wants me, wills me to go. I've learned that I wont be happy. Unless I know for certain, that I'm exactly where the Lord wants me to be.....for however long... in whatever environment.

I LOVE MY PARENTS... and they live in Houston, TX...where my siblings live, and MANY of my dearest friends live. I may never personally reside there again... but does it feel like home to me, when i'm with them?? YES. Do I ADORE schlepping around my parent's house... in my PJ's... cookin', eatin'...laughin' and cryin'?? YOU STINKIN BETCHYA!! So, Houston is home to me. I LOVE NASHVILLE,TN... I LOVE my friends, I LOVE my church family, I LOVE all that God has worked out in me and developed in me, during my season of life in that city. It will ALWAYS be home to me, whether I build a home there and raise my kids there...or NOT!! NASHVEGAS,Tn... is home. I LOVE ORLANDO.. I am connected to the city in ways that are hard for me to explain. I believe that God is up to something amazing in this city, and I'm looking foward to being a part of it, if he'll allow me to be. HOW LONG WILL I BE HERE? Your guess is as good as mine at this point... But it was home to me for several years..and it still feels home now!! Atlanta,Ga.... birthplace of my ENTIRE family tree... I feel so connected to that city, and I never spent more than a couple months at a time living there... but you better KNOW that it's home to me....


I've written an Illiad, JUST to get to this point.... You don't HAVE to have a house in a city, Or have lived there you entire life.. Or have a spouse and kids in a city, for God to have called you there for a season, OR for it just simply to feel like home to you. I dont know where I'll be when the next time I look up and I've lived in a city for 7 or 10 or 15yrs.... All I know that, God's allowed my heart to grow in love and in him, in some pretty varying cities and environments.... and with all the LOVE i've experienced from knowing and loving him... knowing and loving his people, and him blessing me with THEIR love in return.... I'm just as home as I need to be.... Where EVER he sends me!!!

so... there's THAT!

Turning ３１ in the Land of the Rising Sun

Sooo.. Yesterday... or the day before the day before that......(my days are getting all confused in my mind...what with the 14hr time difference) on September 10th, I celebrated my birthday!! It was 10th, I celebrated my birthday!! It was absolutely a day i`ll not soon forget... We started our day off in the usual fashion for us....that is. in　the　usual　fashion for us....that is... RUNNING AROUND LIKE MAD!! Our first performance was in a city called Sendai..well both concerts were in Sendai.. The first was at a missionary baptist school that was 120 yrs old, called Shokei. It was a blast, all of the sweet children received us well, and treated us like rock stars..．wanting to take pictures, and have us sign autographs....NOT that ,that was the POINTof our visit, but it was still sweet, and a lot of fun! it was　still sweet, and a lot of fun!! The BIGGEST star among us, was our own Austin Cagle....whom we`ve now started to call Austin Bieber...because of the way the little girl students screamed and Banshee yelled anytime he was near....or spoke over the intercom.

The next performance was later that evening, in a shopping mall area.... that evening, in a shopping mall area.... outdoors in an area called Parco. Many people stopped what they were doing to enjoy our music... I saw SEVERAL people crying, and wiping away tears.... as the healing balm of Gods` loved swept over them, while we sang and played. The song, The Healing Has Begun has pretty much become the anthem of our trip has pretty much become the anthem of our trip. Its very much got a "We Are our trip. Its very much got a "We Are The World" type vibe to it.... Randy Smith aka...the Right Rev`m of  FUNK....(thats my name for him) sings the solo....while playing his bass....(OOOOH so cool)... and encourages those listening not to be afraid or ashamed of the scars that they bear.....because they`re the proof of Gods healing them.... and we all sing the chorus in Japanese.

A few days ago...I was asked to learn how to say "please sing along" while we`re singing, to rid ourselves of the "us and them,concert　feel" and free the audience to open their hearts. I must admit that I was scared to BITS when Chris told me what was hearts. I must admit that I was scared ｔｏ BITS when Chris told me what was being asked of me... But I just HAVE to say.... that phrase, is probably asked of me... But I just HAVE to say.... that phrase, is probably the BEST phrase i`ve ever learned in my entire life.... Night after night, being able to invite the audience to sing with us, has been the most beautiful moment for me.... All of a sudden, the invisible screen is removed...and we`re ALL just worshipping together.... Tears flowing down our faces, hands raised.... It`s amazing!!

Later that night, after our concert, we went to a that night, after our concert, we went to a church to fellowship with our concert, we went to a church to fellowship with some of our host friends...and ended up having an amazing time of worship.... We sang..and prayed... in english, in japanese... in our heavenly languages... it honestly felt as if God had descened from Glory for a moment...and sat with us.

I`d blogged earlier about how I felt so complete, while out here ministering.... During prayer...Austin whispered in my ear, encouragement from the Lord.. "the Lord PROMISED you, you`d go Lord.. "the Lord PROMISED you, you`d go to　the nations..．.the beginning is now".... This trip has been nothing but a BLESSING...and i`m SO honored, that God would include US...Christ Church..in what he`s doing in the earth!!
THE HEALING HAS BEGUN!!!

i was BORN for moments like this!

last night...our team traveled thru the day by train..and subway from the city of kyoto,Japan....to Tokyo. it's always so funny to me how the "brain"...well honestly..i think its more of th spirit..works. For example after traveling all day...schlepping thru the heat thru downtown Tokyo....soundcheck, and then dinner....ALL of us were starting to feel the stress of the day...and our bodies worked overtime to let us know....it was NOT time to minister to ANYBODY...but to go to bed....EEE-MEEEJITLY...

However...as SOON as the time came for us to lead Gods people in worship...bit by bit our fatigue faded from view in the forefront of our minds....and the MOST important thing in that moment was loving God...and loving his people.. Last nite..several old prophesies came to mind. Its been spoken over me for as long as i can recall, that God would allow my instrument...my voice to take into the nations to win souls for Christ..and to spread the balm of his healing love...to those who look NOTHING like me...and dont speak my language. Well...i've bee singing with and for those who look nothing like me for ions.... but going into the nations of the earth and doing it...is altogether new.... its like i got to meet and hake hands with a slice of my purpose last nite... there were moments where the presence of God fell on me so...i though i would collapse... the most beautiful memory for me is when i was lmobbed" by a beatutiful group of little japanese children...ranging in age from 4 to abou 10. i said my normal...limited...badly spoken greeting to them...Konechewa...fully expecting our encounter to bebrief...since neiher of us could understand each other..but one little girl grabbed my hand...and began to say something in japanese over and over to me...i shook my head an said..."i'm sorry...i don't understand you" and then she pointed to herself and repeated....and then motioned for me.. i realized then that this sweet little girl who would not let go of my hand...was introducing herself.... "ooooooh" i said! "i'm ee-lee-see-yah" pointing to myself... a chuckle of relief went thru all 8of us gathered there....then one by one...sevral ...no ALL of the children grabbed my one free hand (the 1st child was still holding my right one..and was now looking at my skin...and softly rubbing her hands over my skin) in that moment....another part of my purpose revealed itself to me..... To use love....not just any love...but CHRISTS love to unite this world. I may be speaking out of turn...but from the way that swwet child touched my skin....im thinking she'd never been fae to face with a black woman..much less touched one.... while omething was clicking in me.... i feel as if something clicked inside of her....and all the babies.... we are one. unified through Christ by his love for us! I honestly dont know if we'll EVER see each other again....on this side of heaven....but i KNOW we'll never forget that moment.....and so...as the sun begins t rise here...in the land of the rising sun..ive taken a moment to reflect...and honor God for allowing me to see with my own eyes...his prmises being fullfilled. I honestly don't think i'll ever "get over" that moment....or this whole trip.

Lovin' walkng in my purpose today. God Bless

THE HEALING HAS BEGUN..Japan so far

Alright...this　Ｊｕｓｔ may be the fastest blog ever written! JAPAN is WONDERFUL!! Our hosts have been wornderful... there honest Our hosts have been wornderful... honestly words　fail me. I`m just now discovering how to access my blog from here at the hotel...and SO most likely more will come, just wanted to write a quick note and thank ALL of you who made it possible for me to come and grow and give...here in Japan!!! I love you!! and will be back up to my normal rantings soon!!!

L`quatious Gabby

Thanks Be To Our God!!!

I'm laying in my bed- listening to "Thanks Be to God" the last song on Travis Cottrell's new record...it's very much a benediction to an incredible project...but this song evokes so much emotion in me its not even funny. It...like almost everything does these days makes me think of my friend, Maurice Carter..who almost at the thought of the fact that he's left this earth waaaay sooner than I EVER expected, makes me cry for some indiscriminate amount of time.

Maurice joined my Travis Cottrell Praise Team singin' peeps on this last album which was unusual, because NORMALLY we wouldn't have "sullied" ourselves with his....."type"...lol but Trav' was sick... and so, we FORCED ourselves....to have to tolerate his incredible talent...lol. We sang MANY songs for the record, but a when we got to a certain verse on the final song...all of us looked up, and Maurice had begun to cry, and had taken a step back from the mic'. I'd watched him try to sing thru the emotion that was clearly rising up within him...but he couldn't fight it-and eventually he told us.. "Wow guys, I'm so sorry, I don't know whats gotten into me.." "What's WRONG with me?" He asked us thru his tears, slightly embarrassed...because the emotion, came from seemingly nowhere. Finally it was if he tried to explain to us what was going on with him.. "Whew, it's like the lyrics of that song got all over me!"

Well...by that point.. there wasn't any need to even say anything, almost all the rest of us who were singing had started to cry too.... the lyric "For the mysteries beyond the veil of death,for the peace that opens with our closing breath, When our struggles pass away and we finally see your face and greater glory rises into view....Thanks be to our God......Hallelujah, Everlasting songs will rise for all you've done, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, thanks be to our God!"

I don't know what happens in the spirit before our earthly journey wraps up here.... Knowing Maurice HIS spirit was feeling ALL KINDS of things that his natural mind couldn't comprehend yet...

But MAYBE all of that emotional....rigmarole...occurred in our vocal session to get us in a mindset of TRUE worship.

Thanks,adulation,adoration,and worship Eternally are owed our Father for all he's done for us. Tomorrow nite I get to perform with some friends here in Nashville at an event called Still Waters. I was listening to the song I've been referring to tonite on my ipod while at rehearsal for that event when it dawned on me that the last Still Waters event was on June 3,2011 on June 3,2011 (if my dates are correct), my phone began to ring because Mo' was missing. June 4th, late night.... I laid on my couch and cried because my spirit gave my heart the impression, and the leading, that Mo' had gone to be with the Lord already...But I still prayed, and prayed that what I was feeling was wrong...and that we'd find him. I called, I texted, I harassed him...(like I was SUPPOSED TO...as per the conditions of our relationship...lol) but also there in  this middle of my praying and pleading with God....... I began to worship, and thank God for the life of my friend.... and for the fact that i KNEW that if his time HAD indeed come to enter into his sabbath rest...that Maurice was SO OK.... it would be US..who would mourn... and hurt... but he would be fine.....

And when finally it WAS confirmed that Mo' was gone "Thanks Be To Our God" was one of the FIRST songs that came to my mind because I knew in that instant that though I was a ball on the floor....with carpet fibers in my nails from digging and grabbing....Maurice was right at that very moment...joined with the saints of old, and the angels, and the 4 and 20 elders LITERALLY singing Hallelujah, and Everlasting songs.

My days vary....some days I'm alright...I can go on with life without crying...but most days my heart just breaks at some point...when it dawns on me again, what I've lost...what so many of us have lost...in a friend, and brother. But THEN i hear ANOTHER lil' song from Travis's new cd...my brother Mo's last lil' ad lib on one of the song thats sung and echo 3xs that simply encourages us to MARCH ON...sung over a series of connected 8th note runs that just leave you shaking your head in awe of Mo's vocal Skill(z)...lol

March on...in VICTORY...March on... My friend and brother reminds us from the heavens.... and so... March on I shall.... while worshipping, and singing at the top of my lungs...hot tears running down my face..."HALLELUJAH, EVERLASTING SONGS WILL RISE, FOR ALL YOU'VE DONE, HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, THANKS. BE TO. OUR GOD!!!!!"